Wedding Planners

I remember finding out I had cancer. I was sitting at work waiting to hear back that I was clear of STD's, and in good health, etc. Normal, routine checkup. My doctor, who I now call Olga, put me on hold for quite a while, and seemed really hesitant when she came on the line.. I remember her sounding hesitant, and quiet, and very.....scared. I knew it wasn't good news. I thought to myself, "I've been really careful, getting checked up all the time-what could it be?"

She took a deep breath, and said: "Stephanie, you have severe symptoms of displaisia on your cervix....we've got the scans back, and they show more cancerous growth on your cervix-we may have to do a hysterectomy....or chemo.....but more than likely both."

I was stunned-mostly because I'm 21 years old, and this is the SECOND time I've had cervical cancer. But more stunned, because I didn't think it could happen to me. For some reason, I guess I just felt like nothing could ever happen to me-so when something did, I was....shocked.

A few weeks ago, Erich and I went back to the doctor, and I had a routine check done to see where I was at, if symptoms were coming up, etc.

Today, I got the call from Olga:

It wasn't cancer. It was severe displasia. Apparantly the symptoms were very similar, so they went with the worst case scenario, but there was a lack of communication.

Erich and I were facing the possibility that we couldn't have kids, and somewhere out in the world, a doctor had the regular test results on his desk, and forgot to mention to everyone that nothing was wrong.

Don't get me wrong: I'm so happy, I can't stop tearing up. But at the same time...I'm afraid. I'm scared shitless that it's not true, that THIS test result is the mess up, and I really do have cancer.

I won't know for sure, until I go back, which wont be until November. But Olga swears they double checked to make sure these were indeed my test results.

SO: Great news is, I don't have cancer. Displasia: can be taken away.

I'm too emotional to think guys-I'll write more at another time.

Stephanie